Okay so I’ve been doing a lot of reading, psychology specifically, about introversion and how to deal with worry, stress, and depression. I think I have discovered a method to work on my issues.
I want to help people. I realize now that I cannot help others if I ignore my own problems.
I’m going to start keeping a journal. An e-journal. I’ll keep it on my computer at home and it should help me keep my thoughts straight in my head. How long will I have this journal? How often will I write in it? I don’t know. I probably won’t write in it every day, but I will write in it whenever I had a day where I had a depressing or anxious thought. That may end up being every day for a little while, but hopefully I’ll sort myself out before too long.
I also now realize that because of the state my mind is in, I am not ready for another relationship. I need to get myself straightened out first before I can have a successful relationship.
Currently, I feel lonely all the time. Even when I’m with my friends. Until I can be content when I am alone, until I learn to stop distancing myself from others, until I am able to tear down the walls that I’ve been building around myself for the past 4 years, I cannot be in a long term relationship. It would only bring more pain into the relationship and I don’t want that again.
Life is too short to spend it dwelling on past mistakes. Reflect on the past, don’t live in it.
Just my two cents.