(29/01/2013) Lost Again

I think I may be stepping back into depression. I spent the last few weeks letting my anger guide my decisions and now I can’t be angry anymore. I thought I was angry at a specific person (I won’t name who) for a time, then I decided I was angry at myself. Then I realized I wasn’t angry at anything specific; I was just angry.
 
That’s the worst kind of anger. The anger that has no direction, no target, no meaning; but is always there, looming over you like a gargoyle. Now, I feel like I have no direction. I’ve spent so long letting my anger blind me, that now that I can see again, the sun is far too bright.
 
I wrote a poem last night before I fell asleep. That’s why i didn’t post it yesterday. I’ve decided to hold off on videoes until I can figure out what I’m doing. I’ll still be doing audio recordings though. I’ll be putting them up on weekends.
 
 

(29/01/2013) Lost Again

 

 
I think I’m lost again
I don’t know where to go
All these years of planning
And I’ve hit a plateau.
 
Maybe I’m just out of place
The city’s not for me
I just feel I don’t belong
And it took 12 years to see.
 
It’s time I leave for good
Never to return
I’ll walk the road away from here
And I’ve got one last bridge to burn.
 
©2013 Alex Hicks

6 thoughts on “(29/01/2013) Lost Again

  1. Anger did burn your mind away
    and bridges if you burn, how you will connect
    tommorow you want want it, that has no value today

    Got angry, stayed angry andnow let it go
    let it go..before it takes you away
    from the place you want to stay
    another year , or till May

    who was angry ? If you say
    him/her/them .or hey!
    You were angry with yourself
    and blamed everyone else

    is that good?
    Is that you?
    If not..do not throw away
    your life , is yours
    find a way..stay..
    please stay.

  2. Sweet sweet friend.. We write so much alike.. The way you flow, the rhythm, is much like my style when I write with rhythm and rhyme. I love this, but it makes my sad too. I know what you are feeling.. because I have felt it too. 🙂 ~Jen

  3. Your writing is just cathartic for me to even read. The way you put a face to anger for me is brilliant. Anger is so humbling and has this strange beauty I think. Amazing.

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