Happiness Comes to Those Who Wait

I’m broken
Shattered glass in a picture frame
But the pieces are all still there
Sitting
Cracked
In the frame.
And I keep lying to myself saying I’m not depressed
That I’m not anxious or lonely
 
“Happiness comes to those who wait.”
What bullshit. I’ve worked for happiness
I’ve worked to make my life okay
To make myself okay
But it never works
My heart beats to the sound
of a broken drum
It’s sound so lifeless
So quiet, so broken
 
But every single day I manage to hide it
Every single day I manage to lie
And I hate myself for it
But I can’t show weakness anymore
Because the world is a dangerous place
And to show weakness is to admit defeat
 
But what if, just what if,
What if Weakness is all I have left to show?
 
©2014 Alex Hicks

A Duet – Beyond the Truth

This is written by myself and Hastywords I’ve done a lot of writing with her in the past and she remains to be an amazing poet and friend. Go check out her blog!


 
How do I overcome
This pain of a broken heart
How do I fix myself
I don’t know where to start
 
I feel overwhelmed
Disabled inside this emptiness
You left me hollow and numb
Inside a suffocating loneliness
 
Do I embrace the dark surrounding me?
Let it comfort me with its touch.
Or do I build my walls and shut it out?
Like the pain that hurts so much.
 
They say breathing is all it takes
To survive this painful dark
Lungs on fire, fighting my will
Oxygen struggling to leave its mark
 
So long bound by chains of passion
Only to be freed and bound again
By this pain of isolation
By the pains I hold within
 
I will sit alone in this dark
Become accustomed to its silence
Then perhaps someday
I’ll peer beyond its shadows
 
To the place where stars shone bright as suns
Where the sunlight filled my eyes
In my world where everything was right
beyond the truth and lies.
 
©2014 Alex Hicks and Hastywords

Reconstruct


 
I need a chance to sit, rebuild
Reconstruct the emotions spilled
To sit and watch this anger burn
And by fires light to watch them turn
 
I allow myself to disconnect
To give my brain time to dissect
The thoughts, emotions, memories
Changing me here presently.
 
So step back please I need my space
I will let you in sometime and place
But right now I need solidarity
To find what brings me clarity
 
I’m filled with rage and dissonance
And I fear I might not stand a chance
Of Ever stepping again as one
Out of the dark and into the sun.
 
©2013 Alex Hicks

I Need a Superhero

Break in case of emergency
 
I need a superhero
To beat away the dark
To show me what the truth is
And tell me where to start
 
I need a superhero
To guide my falling star
To help me realize that this evil
Isn’t all we are.
 
I need a superhero
To pull me from my past
To ease the torments of my mind
And let me sleep at last.
 
©2013 Alex Hicks

Promise


 
I’m the kind of person who is happiest
When making other people happy.
 
If I make one person laugh every day
Then it will have been a good day for me.
 
This poses a small problem for me
 
When someone tells me
That they’ve had a hard life
I don’t know what to say because
Nothing I could say would make their situation
Any better.
 
So I just sit there in silence
Watching
Waiting
 
I don’t know what I’m waiting for.
Maybe I’m waiting for them to get mad at me
for not saying anything
Maybe I’m waiting for the tears they’ll inevitably cry
Or maybe I’m waiting for the moment to insert a joke
Or anything that I think will make them smile
 
But that moment rarely comes
 
There’s a time and place for everything
But there rarely seems to be a time and place for me
 
In the moment,
I’ll sit in silence watching your face
For signs of what you’ll do next.
 
Whether it be tears of sadness or rage
Or a scream
 
But I don’t speak
Because you’ve heard the lies before
“Everything will be fine”
“It will all work out in the end”
“I’ll always be here for you”
 
I won’t speak those lies
Because everything won’t be fine
It may not work out in the end
I may not always be here for you
 
But I’m here now.
That’s a promise I can keep.
 
I’ll be the ears to hear that scream
The shoulder to cry on
The foundation to hold you up
 
But I can’t promise to always be there for you
Because I don’t know if I can keep that promise.
 
©2013 Alex Hicks

Superhero

Last year I read a poem that ended with something along the lines of:
“But no one seems to notice
When a superhero sheds a tear.”
I can’t find that poem for the life of me now so if you have it I desperately want it for my collection.

This poem is inspired by that one.

Enjoy!


INVISIBLE-GIRL
 
She walks the streets in sunlight
And no one really knows
The side of her that’s secret
The one she never shows.
 
She’s the invisible girl
And she’s always there to help
Purse snatcher, bank robbers
She’s not good for their health
 
She’ll save your falling child
Or thwart a robbers plan
She’ll save the day and vanish
As fast as she possibly can
 
But when it’s time for sunrise
She’ll be normal once again
A normal lonely girl
Waiting for the day to end
 
She lives in her apartment
Run down and full of mice
Living off of nothing
But water and some rice
 
She’s the invisible girl
Living in pain and fear
Because nobody will notice
When a superhero sheds a tear.
 
©2013 Alex Hicks

(12/02/2013) One Word

words
 
What if I were to say
That one word could change your life
And that one word
Could be any word you wanted.
 
And whenever you said that word
You would be inspired
Your creativity would soar
Your passions would scream
 
But whenever you spoke that word
One person would feel pain
 
Not physical
Not mental
But emotional
 
Pain
Like the pain of a broken heart
The pain of being abandoned
In a world full of cruelties
Where one word whenever spoken
Could break your heart again
 
But if there was one word
That could really change your life
 
And whenever you said that word
You would be inspired
Your creativity would soar
Your passions would scream
 
Would you ever say that word?
 
©2013 Alex Hicks

Part IV: Illusions of the Moon

Part I: Voice of an Angel
Part II: Dreamers Vice
Part III: Return to the Dream
Part IV: Illusions of the Moon
Part V: Beneath the Cherry Tree
Part VI: Face of an Angel
Part VII: The End of a Dream
Part VIII: Echoes

 
Sleep came like rain
Steady pouring down
I slipped into my dreamland
And cried at what I found.
 
The dream had changed itself
Nothing was the same
Where once I heard her voice
Instead silence came.
 
The ice plains I had loved
With a single rose
Had melted into wasteland
Where now nothing grows.
 
Walls of the city loft
Had crumbled to the ground
Where once there had been people
There now was not a sound.
 
The lush green arctic forest
Had now been set ablaze
And the wind the whispered calmly
Whipped harshly at my face.
 
The cliff above the sea
Where her tears had softly shed
Was now no more than stones
The beauty gone and dead.
 
It was then she spoke again
as snow began to fall
I called to her for comfort
She did not heed my call.
 
Instead she sang of beauty
In everything I saw
She sang of flicking fire
As I looked on in awe.
 
She sang of rocky shores
Where once my cliff had stood
And as she was reciting
I know I understood.
 
She sang of vast expanses
Filled with dry cracked dirt
And sang how this had helped me
Free myself from hurt.
 
She sang of buildings falling
and how time passes by
And how if I’m to find her
All I must do is try.
 
©2012 Alex Hicks

Unbreakable

I am unbreakable
My courage mistakable
For walls I build up around.
The walls I construct
Are surely corrupt
In providing the sorrow surrounds.
 
Built like a crypt
I shall, brick-by-brick
Tear the stone walls away.
And into the night
With all of my might
Blindly I’ll charge to the fray.
 
So with my last breath
I’ll stare down on death
With a smile and glint in my eye,
For I am a question
A strong standing bastion
And I know that I can not cry.
 
For I am a bastion
and in such fashion
I will not bend at the knee
To a king that I know
Who will never show
The qualities of one who is free.
 
So sorrow and pain
With much disdain
I must leave you out in the cold
For with you around
I’m sure you’ll have found
You would never have grown very old.
 
And despite my beef
With joy and relief
I will offer them a hot cup of tea.
And soon I will learn
That the pain and the burn
Can be turned into daring and glee.
 
But I will not forget,
The walls I regret,
Through silence or even the sound.
For I am unbreakable
My courage mistakable
Of the walls I once built up around.
 
-©2012 Alex Hicks