I’m the kind of person who is happiest
When making other people happy.
If I make one person laugh every day
Then it will have been a good day for me.
This poses a small problem for me
When someone tells me
That they’ve had a hard life
I don’t know what to say because
Nothing I could say would make their situation
Any better.
So I just sit there in silence
I don’t know what I’m waiting for.
Maybe I’m waiting for them to get mad at me
for not saying anything
Maybe I’m waiting for the tears they’ll inevitably cry
Or maybe I’m waiting for the moment to insert a joke
Or anything that I think will make them smile
But that moment rarely comes
There’s a time and place for everything
But there rarely seems to be a time and place for me
In the moment,
I’ll sit in silence watching your face
For signs of what you’ll do next.
Whether it be tears of sadness or rage
Or a scream
But I don’t speak
Because you’ve heard the lies before
“Everything will be fine”
“It will all work out in the end”
“I’ll always be here for you”
I won’t speak those lies
Because everything won’t be fine
It may not work out in the end
I may not always be here for you
But I’m here now.
That’s a promise I can keep.
I’ll be the ears to hear that scream
The shoulder to cry on
The foundation to hold you up
But I can’t promise to always be there for you
Because I don’t know if I can keep that promise.
©2013 Alex Hicks

Dark Sleep (Part 1)

This one’s a two part poem ladies and gents. Part 2 will be up later, and it goes to some really dark places.

Tell her stories in the night
Until the dawns morning light
Of heroes saving the day
Maybe then she’ll stay
But it’s realy not likely
That she’ll want to love you nightly
I know it may sound funny
But she only wants your money
She dances on the street curb
Just outside the suburb
In the morning she leaves
Another man for her to please
She’s not but corner whore
And yet still you want her more
She begs you and calls you sir
Each night that you’re here with her
She sells her body for sex
and you think that you know best
By wanting her to love you
with everything that you do
But you know that there’s no chance
She only knows one dance
She’s not the cheating kind
because she will not be tied
A common downtown street whore
And you you still want more
To share more than just your bed
You wish for you to be wed
She’s made that clear a hundred-fold
You can’t ask again, you’ve been told
And now you know that there’s no chance
That she will ever dance that dance
©Alex Hicks 2013

Any Other Way

Of course it’s a girl
That’s always the cause
My actions and judgement
They’re all going wrong
Synapses firing
Against my own will
Some say it’s annoying
And it is but still
The things that I’m feeling
I want them to stay
I wouldn’t have it
Any other way
The risks that I’m taking
The mountains I’ll climb
Some say I’m in danger
But I say I’m fine
They say that I’ve changed
That I’m not the same as I was
They say it’s a bad thing
But it can’t be because
The things that I’m feeling
I want them to stay
I wouldn’t have it
Any other way
This is what I want
What I’ve been searching for
I’ve found something new here
That I’ve not had before
That feeling of emptyness
Is no longer with me
So yes I have changed
And the fact’s simply
The things that I’m feeling
I want them to stay
and I wouldn’t have it
Any other way.
©2013 Alex Hicks

Lead The Charge

I put myself there.
I dug my own grave
I was ready to give up
I was ready to quit
To stop trying.
I had built walls around myself
And everytime I said I would tear them down
I just built them thicker
A different kind of self harm
A different kind of suicide.
But I stopped.
Someone reached out to me
To pull me from my dark place
And into the light I had glimpsed.
I didn’t give up
I didn’t quit
And unbeknownst to me
I had more friends than I thought.
Friends I didn’t even know about
Watching unseen from the sidelines of my life
Concerned with where I was going
But unable to really help.
And now, I can see all of them
I no longer have friends on the sidelines
I can now see them
Fighting with me
Fighting their own demons as well as mine
Just as I am fighting theirs.
I’ve joined the fray
I’ve drawn my blade
I’ll lead the charge
I’ll clear the way.
My shield a bastion
My sword will strike true
Let enemies approach me
I will push through.
My steed carries foreward
The head of the charge
I will face any problems
No matter how large
The blood of my foes
Will paint the ground red
Until all of my demons
Have ended up dead.
I will fight for my morals
I will fight with the best
Until the day comes
That I draw my last breath.
©2013 Alex Hicks

Slurred Speeches

Slurred Speaches
Slurred speeches solumn speak
much more meaning than malice
but beauteous balance begins
when wonderful words won’t withhold
from fair flowing fantasies.
Sober sayings speak in synonyms
slowly showing subtleties
Repeating riddles of reality
Rarely reaping recourse
So speeches spoken sober
Show something some should see
And sloshed speeches may be slurred
But they speak more to me.
©2013 Alex Hicks

This is My Home

This is my sanctuary
My place of refuge
My escape
This is where I hide when the world
Gets to be too much for me
This is my hiding place
My safe house
My island retreat
This is where I escape when I feel
That I do not want to be seen
This is my coffin
My standing tombstone
My convergence
This is my resting place, for once my life ends
This is all that will remain
This is my theater
My library
My study
This is the dwelling that I return to every day
To prepare for what comes next

…This is my home.

©2013 Alex Hicks

This poem is also going on my about page as it is talking about this blog and the community I’ve reached just by sharing my poetry. Thank you everyone for reading my work and hopefully enjoying my poetry. -Alex H.

A Toast to the Forgotten

5 person toast
I guess things are different now
I don’t know if I know how
To find a path all on my own
Or even if I have a home
My story’s shorter than that of most
But I’ll raise my glass, propose a toast.
To those like me who can’t be found
And those who look, always around.
To life-like spirits who walk beside
To the emotions we all keep inside
For those who try but can’t succeed
For those who walk but won’t proceed
To those who are locked in their mind
To those of us who walk behind
For those of you who fall off track
For those of you who won’t look back
To those of you who live the life
To those of you who throw the dice
And if you feel you have no home
I toast to you, you’re not alone.
©2013 Alex Hicks

Part II: Spell Breaker

Part II of this story. Read Part I here: Part I: Twins


“I hate you!” She screamed
As she stormed out the door
I was lost as to what
She hated me for.

“I hate you!” I screamed
As a ran from the room
He poisoned our parents
Their deaths will come soon.

I killed my father
A tyranical king
Yes, mother too,
A pitiful thing.

He was no tyrant
Not deserving this fate
My twin brother killed him
I’ve never felt so much hate.

This kingdom is mine
My sister will flee
And soon the whole world
Will bend at the knee.

He thinks this is over
He thinks I am gone
He has no idea
That he’s very wrong.

They came last night
And trapped me within
With protection from magic
I could not win.

Last night I arrived
For my throne to reclaim
With protection from magic
My brother was shamed.

She could have killed me
But she did not.
Her biggest mistake
I will watch her rot.

I could not kill him
He’s my twin after all
To the wastes he was banished
It is there he will fall.

©2012 Alex Hicks

All I am

All I ask is forgiveness
All I seek is love
All I feel is empty
But I know my time will come.
All I want is happiness
All I crave is peace
All I see is anguish
The fueling of the beast.
All I do is hopeless
All I hear are cries
All I fear is coming true
Dark falling from the sky.
All I do is hope
All I hear is song
All I hoped is coming true
I know it won’t be long.
All I am is grateful
For what few friends I keep
They always pull me standing
From lying in a heap.
©2012 Alex Hicks