Liar

I look around and what falls within my sight is different
It’s darker here, not black, but darker.
There is still sun here
It’s just buried within dark ominous clouds

I’m not afraid of the dark though
I’ve been in the dark before
But this is different.

Because this time no one is there to help me out of it.
There’s no one reaching for my hand to pull me free
No one to help me up if I should fall.
I’m alone here – truly alone.

In some ways I expected it.
To be betrayed by the ones I trusted
Because it’s happened so many times in the past.
But it hurts more this time.
The knife went deeper.

Do you remember what you said to me?
“You walk this path alone
but your friends are still there with you.
If you turn around we won’t be gone”

But when I turned around…
You were gone.
All of you…are gone.

You lied to me. You lied.

To be fair…I lied as well.
Because I told you that I trusted you
But how could I?
When all my life all I’ve heard is lies?
Lies and excuses.
Why should you be any different?

You’re a liar. Just like the rest of them.

But it’s okay…
So am I.

Alone, There He Sits

This poem is another rather dark piece and is on the topic suicide. Suicide is something very sensitive to me as my father committed suicide in November of 2014. Again, it is not how I feel about myself. If you or someone you love is having thoughts of suicide please please call the suicide prevention hotline.

Canada and the USA: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

A full list of suicide prevention hotlines around the world is available HERE.

A man sits alone
in the place he calls home
and he sits in his chair and he weeps

A tear in his seams
Has wounded his dreams
And upon him, slowly, death creeps

He’s not broken yet
But he can’t forget
How he pushed all of his loved ones away

And now he can tell
That in this living hell
That he’d wishes he’d just let them stay

Now see the blood drip
From his fingertips
As it pools at his feet on the floor.

He’s fought for so long
His defences are gone
And he can’t fight alone anymore

And the pieces he’s lost
That his choices have cost
Have torn his conscious to shreds

His own mind betrayed
Wants not to be saved
So now – there he sits – until dead.

©2015 Alexander Hicks

Fade Away

This one is a little bit darker than my normal stuff. – AH

Everything fades
Time slips away
Stone turns to dust
and steel turns to rust

We go through the motions
We push with the notion
That our lives hold meaning
Yet here we lay bleeding

It’s always fine on the surface
But nevermind the preface
The opening sentence reads
“The truth is never as it seems”

Because we all have our pain
As time and life maim
And we all put on a face
In this lifes great race

We all step in time
We all stand in line
If only to learn
That this world burns

And in the end it’s for naught
As we take all we’ve got
And give it all away
Until everything fades.

©2013 Alex Hicks

SILHOUETTE

She sits alone in silence
In the darkness of her mind
Like watching waterfalls
Her thoughts leave her behind
Open books lay scattered
Under piles of torn up paper
Each page a fractured memory
The shadow that was her life
That tortured her each day
Ending over and over again

©2013 Alex Hicks

Part VIII: Echoes

Part I: Voice of an Angel
Part II: Dreamers Vice
Part III: Return to the Dream
Part IV: Illusions of the Moon
Part V: Beneath the Cherry Tree
Part VI: Face of an Angel
Part VII: The End of a Dream
Part VIII: Echoes

I wrote these two poems a while ago, and I completely forgot to post them. They’re a continuation of the series of poems I was writing at the beginning of this year.
 

 
I realize now the hidden truth
The facts about my life
Life
Life
 
The closing doors the final scores
That cut me like a knife
Knife
Knife
 
The dreams I had where she would speak
The ones where I would cry, so weak
Weak
Weak
 
And the times she lightly touched my face
Then disappeared without a trace
Trace
Trace
 
I decided to leave the real world behind
Not because of the people but because that I find
Find
Find
 
It is the only place that we can be one
To prevent my life from coming undone.
Undone
Undone
 
My dreams is the only place for this love of mine
That the only place that she exists and now
 
So do I.
I
I
 
©2013 Alex Hicks

The Broken

 
Like looking into a broken mirror
The reflection is still there
But it’s all in pieces
Fragmented
Broken
I’m broken
 
Like a shattered picure frame
The memories are there
But it looks strange
Tortured
Distorted
 
©2013 Alex Hicks

Dark Sleep (Part 2)

Part 2 guys and gals, this contains blood and death. You’ve been warned.
 

 
So last night you made a plan
That if you cannot have her hand
None will have her in their bed
None can have that which is dead
 
So you drive to her nightly corner
Wondering if anyone will mourn her
She gets in with a polite smile
Looks at you “it’s been a while”
 
You nod at her and smile back
eleven pm, right on track
Back to your place and through the door
Soon enough you’ll love her no more
 
She strips her clothes and on the bed
On your pillow she rests her head
You get in and lie with her
You know now this is for sure
 
You pretend to sleep and she gets up
In the bathroom grabs a cup
In the mirror there you stand
Right behind her, knife in hand
 
She tries to scream but you’re too fast
and her next breath will be her last
The knife sinks in and tears are shed
She doesn’t know why you want her dead
 
You lean in and whisper clear
I just wanted you my dear
You told me there was never a chance
You made up your mind without a glance
 
Her body drops and in something drops
A small and square red velvet box
You pick it up and look inside
And suddenly it’s you who’se died
 
Inside the box there sat a ring
A simple small engagement ring
And folded small a little note
And within it she had wrote:
 
“I’m giving this small ring to you
and here’s what I want you to do:
take me to dinner, someplace fine
And order us a bottle of wine;
 
Put the ring there in my glass
and when I drink, on one knee ask
If I will be thy wedded wife
From now until the end of life.
 
I’ll say yes, and then for sure
I will be a whore no more
I will be your beautiful bride
And forever we’ll be filled with pride.”
 
You take the knife, eyes filled with tears
You’ve realized your biggest fear
It’s not being alone as it were
It’s living your life without her
 
Your steady the knife at your own heart
And look at her as all goes dark
And plunge the knife into your chest
And finally you both may rest
 
A story told through simple rhyme
Cannot condone a passion crime
So the old phrase remains strong and tall
Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
 
©2013 Alex Hicks

Dark Sleep (Part 1)

This one’s a two part poem ladies and gents. Part 2 will be up later, and it goes to some really dark places.
 

 
Tell her stories in the night
Until the dawns morning light
Of heroes saving the day
Maybe then she’ll stay
 
But it’s realy not likely
That she’ll want to love you nightly
I know it may sound funny
But she only wants your money
 
She dances on the street curb
Just outside the suburb
In the morning she leaves
Another man for her to please
 
She’s not but corner whore
And yet still you want her more
She begs you and calls you sir
Each night that you’re here with her
 
She sells her body for sex
and you think that you know best
By wanting her to love you
with everything that you do
 
But you know that there’s no chance
She only knows one dance
She’s not the cheating kind
because she will not be tied
 
A common downtown street whore
And you you still want more
To share more than just your bed
You wish for you to be wed
 
She’s made that clear a hundred-fold
You can’t ask again, you’ve been told
And now you know that there’s no chance
That she will ever dance that dance
 
©Alex Hicks 2013

Symphony of the Storm

WARNING: This does not in any way relate to my life. This poem is very dark. If you’re looking for something cheery, this will not be the poem for you. This poem touches on the topic of suicide, in the form of a story. Consider yourself warned.
 

 
Lighting strikes a tree
and the fire crackles bright
The temper of the storm
Lit by the fires light
 
Eves filling with water
Released into the groud
The storms subtle symphony
A peaceful restful sound
 
A home dark curtains open
A man listens to the song
His preperations are complete
His own resolve is gone.
 
The lighting cracks
The thunder roars
He ties the rope
and locks the doors
 
The rain wails on his window
The thunder at his door
One step, tense rope.
The man is now no more.
 
The rain sets the rhythm
The thunder brings the beat
The lighting is the ambiance
Symphonic storm complete.
 
©2013 Alex Hicks

Counting

 
Come on, count with me.
 
1, 2, 3, notches on my spear
4, 5, 6, listen but nothing to hear
with 1, 2, 3 drops of blood and water.
7, 8, and 9 are cannon fodder
 
do you know how it feels
To die 5, 6, 7 times?
 
4, 3, 2 Reasons to go on
4, 5, 6 seconds, blink and then it’s gone
 
Do you know how it feels
to lose yourself 9, 10, 11 times?
 
Just when you think that you’ve found a friend
it’s like 8, 9, 10, and they’re gone again.
 
©2013 Alex Hicks