Sometimes I wish I was invisible
Then I could spy on my brother when he was with his friend
Or I could scare people by making objects float
I could be a pervert and sneak into the women’s changing room.
But mostly, because then I would look like how I feel.
Invisible.
©2015 Alexander J. Hicks
So yesterday, me and my girlfriend broke up. It was on good terms and we are still “friends” but it still hurts. I thought I loved this girl, but I put too much of myself into a relationship that was only 3.5 months old. I was smothering her on top of everything she had to focus on with school and her family…I understood everything…It made sense…
But it still hurts…
I keep saying I could have fixed things
But I don’t think that I’d be able
I became far too reliant
On the feelings I’d enabled.
I expected her to care for me
So much more than what she did
After such a short relationship
I couldn’t handle what she hid
I let fall all my defenses
The walls I took so long to build
And now that I’m alone again
With loneliness I’m filled.
So now it’s time to step back
And rebuild the walls I fell
To shut out all the darkness
That I know so very well
So I will sit alone for now
And build up my hardened shell
I’ll rebuild what I let fall
The walls I know so well.
©2013 Alex Hicks
I need a superhero
To beat away the dark
To show me what the truth is
And tell me where to start
I need a superhero
To guide my falling star
To help me realize that this evil
Isn’t all we are.
I need a superhero
To pull me from my past
To ease the torments of my mind
And let me sleep at last.
©2013 Alex Hicks
Here’s a little bit of free verse that I threw together this morning. Let me know what you think.
You want to feel something real?
Loss is something real
It’s a feeling of regret
A feeling of emptyness
A feeling like theres a hole in your chest
right next to your heart
and if you look insite that hole
you can see your heart
beating
beating
beating
And it wouldn’t be so bad
If you were the only one looking
But you’re not
The whole world is looking
Looking at your heart there
thumping
thumping
thumping
in your chest.
some may try to help you hide it
but no matter how hard they try
that feeling is still there
the feeling that the world is watching
staring at you as you cry
as your tears
drip
drip
drip
down your face.
You wish you could turn away
You wish they couldn’t see you
You wish they could see through you
like they can see through the hole in your chest
But part of you
part of you wants them to see
Part of you wants someone to be there
Someone who can hide you from the world
Someone who will catch you when you fall
Someone who won’t poke at your heart
Or try to cover the hole
But someone who will sew the wound together again
With strings pulled from their own heart
And that’s when you realize.
Everyone who is watching
Staring at your still beating heart
has a hole in their chest too
right next to their hearts
just
like
you.
©2013 Alex Hicks
Part I: Voice of an Angel
Part II: Dreamers Vice
Part III: Return to the Dream
Part IV: Illusions of the Moon
Part V: Beneath the Cherry Tree
Part VI: Face of an Angel
Part VII: The End of a Dream
Part VIII: Echoes
I wrote these two poems a while ago, and I completely forgot to post them. They’re a continuation of the series of poems I was writing at the beginning of this year.
I haven’t had the dream again
Since the time I saw her face
I with things hadn’t ended then
Hadn’t ended in that place.
I doubt I will have them once more
For when I dream I see
A blackened room and single locked door
But her voice is there with me.
It gives off a radiant glow
That I’m sure rivals the sun
And I’m comfortable in my little box
Even with no place to run.
But even still when I awake
I wish I had seen her face
But once again as I walk the day
She is gone without a trace.
And all I hear are
Echoes
Echoes
Echoes
©2013 Alex Hicks
I’m the kind of person who is happiest
When making other people happy.
If I make one person laugh every day
Then it will have been a good day for me.
This poses a small problem for me
When someone tells me
That they’ve had a hard life
I don’t know what to say because
Nothing I could say would make their situation
Any better.
So I just sit there in silence
Watching
Waiting
I don’t know what I’m waiting for.
Maybe I’m waiting for them to get mad at me
for not saying anything
Maybe I’m waiting for the tears they’ll inevitably cry
Or maybe I’m waiting for the moment to insert a joke
Or anything that I think will make them smile
But that moment rarely comes
There’s a time and place for everything
But there rarely seems to be a time and place for me
In the moment,
I’ll sit in silence watching your face
For signs of what you’ll do next.
Whether it be tears of sadness or rage
Or a scream
But I don’t speak
Because you’ve heard the lies before
“Everything will be fine”
“It will all work out in the end”
“I’ll always be here for you”
I won’t speak those lies
Because everything won’t be fine
It may not work out in the end
I may not always be here for you
But I’m here now.
That’s a promise I can keep.
I’ll be the ears to hear that scream
The shoulder to cry on
The foundation to hold you up
But I can’t promise to always be there for you
Because I don’t know if I can keep that promise.
©2013 Alex Hicks
Last year I read a poem that ended with something along the lines of:
“But no one seems to notice
When a superhero sheds a tear.”
I can’t find that poem for the life of me now so if you have it I desperately want it for my collection.
This poem is inspired by that one.
Enjoy!
She walks the streets in sunlight
And no one really knows
The side of her that’s secret
The one she never shows.
She’s the invisible girl
And she’s always there to help
Purse snatcher, bank robbers
She’s not good for their health
She’ll save your falling child
Or thwart a robbers plan
She’ll save the day and vanish
As fast as she possibly can
But when it’s time for sunrise
She’ll be normal once again
A normal lonely girl
Waiting for the day to end
She lives in her apartment
Run down and full of mice
Living off of nothing
But water and some rice
She’s the invisible girl
Living in pain and fear
Because nobody will notice
When a superhero sheds a tear.
©2013 Alex Hicks
WARNING: This does not in any way relate to my life. This poem is very dark. If you’re looking for something cheery, this will not be the poem for you. This poem touches on the topic of suicide, in the form of a story. Consider yourself warned.
Lighting strikes a tree
and the fire crackles bright
The temper of the storm
Lit by the fires light
Eves filling with water
Released into the groud
The storms subtle symphony
A peaceful restful sound
A home dark curtains open
A man listens to the song
His preperations are complete
His own resolve is gone.
The lighting cracks
The thunder roars
He ties the rope
and locks the doors
The rain wails on his window
The thunder at his door
One step, tense rope.
The man is now no more.
The rain sets the rhythm
The thunder brings the beat
The lighting is the ambiance
Symphonic storm complete.
©2013 Alex Hicks
I ask all of my followers to listen to this song. It brings to light everything that we need to fix with out planet before it’s too late.
Here are the Lyrics:
Continue reading
I read in the paper
A murder last night
And thought to myself
This is not alright
8 days to the year
Someone dies in a fight
Can someone tell me
Where is the light
I can’t see it
Lost from my sight.
A hero in waiting
Strolls silently by
To only stand up
When he can no longer cry
For the innocence lost
For the heroes that die
Then silence again
For the heroes that rise
And the people in silence
Who watch as time flies.
©2013 Alex Hicks
Into Dawn 