It Will Not Scar My Heart

Where does the sunshine end and the dark of night begin?
When does the joy inside oneself give way to the dark within?
Where does the path of love give leave and the world falls away?
Where sunshine ends and night begins to engulf the light of day.
I dance the only dance I know, the one that stems the pain;
and step by step I move and sway, and hope it stops the rain.
But at every move and every turn the thunder sounds a drum
and reminds me of the life I live and that I cannot run.
Once upon a time I stepped to a rhythm of my own.
To a harmony and melody that I one time had grown;
and to that beat I danced and danced and quelled the little fears
that grew and grew and danced with me and with them grew my tears.
Until one day it hit me like the calm before the storm,
that on my mind the little fears had beaten, grabbed and torn.
Until the thoughts to which I stepped had began to bleed
and the little thoughts – anxieties – on them began to feed
My dance began to lose its fire, it’s passion, warmth, and zeal;
And the fears that ripped ferociously, began to feel so real
No longer could I dance and sway, to hide all that I felt,
with all my calm collected thoughts, my walls began to melt.
The rain it burned like acid and the thunder shook my core,
and although I tried to carry on, I knew that I could dance no more.
Beneath the weight of my own thoughts, I dropped down to my knees
and let the tears fall from my eyes as the ground began to freeze.
But just when I had given up, I saw a glimmer through the haze
A little spark, a light of hope, from my knees I began to raise
and the more I looked upon the light, the bigger it would grow
but the more I moved towards it, the further it would go.
When I stopped it did the same, but brighter still it grew
as it did I felt more and more that I would make it through.
Slowly I began to dance, to step and sway once more
despite the wind and driving rain, I’d never felt like this before.
Now I know that although strong, there is more here than the rain,
and as the light grows brighter I know that I can do the same
Although the storm has raged so long and left parts of me scarred
No matter how much it may try, it will not scar my heart.
©2015 Alex Hicks

(01/02/2013) Resurrected Spirit – a duet with Hastywords

Another duet with Hastywords! Check out her blog and be sure to follow her if you haven’t done so already.

The early morning fog was thick
The clouds had turned to grey
The storm ahead was coming fast
I wondered if to stay.
Could I once again endure
The relenting turmoil it would bring
Or could I remain steadfast
And seek safety here at last
The clouds are dark and looming
Precursor to the storm
The wind picks up and whips at me
As rain begins to pour
I brace myself for what’s to come
This tornadic dance I do so well
The lightning begins to flash
A sky plastering kisses on my skin
Each flash brings to me visions
Of all the mistakes I’ve made
I think of how I’ll cope with them
Once this torrent fades
More ominous than before
Clouds like billowing smoke
Render me sightless and afraid
Of troubles hidden in this sea
But while my worries may run deeper
Than the Mariana trench
I know I will emerge unscathed
And stronger than before
Gathering all my strength
To withstand the painful winds
And with a resurrected spirit
I will dance throughout this storm
©2013 Alex Hicks and Hastywords

(22/01/2013) My Tomb

Where did I go wrong?
Did I give it up for naught?
Did I get what I deserve?
Did you deserve what you got?
The fires filled the sky
As the storm began to brew
And I sit transparent
While you all look through.
Peace is not my end goal
It is my last request
Rid the world of hate
As I lay down to rest.
But the storm’s already here
And we cannot retreat
Until we are layed to rest
Pillows of concrete.
So in my tomb I lay to rest
As the world goes to hell
And tell me when I wake again
If all had been made well.
©2013 Alex Hicks

The Storm

It rages without mercy
Howling of the winds
Echos of the cries
Of those who were lost
The unstoppable force
With no immovable object
to block its path
It pushed on.
Many lost loved ones
Many left stranded
Many left with nothing
Yet still they push on
The storm is passing
Its damage has done
But all will stand strong
The storm has come and gone.
©2012 Alex Hicks

My heart goes out to those effected by hurricane sandy. We’ll be getting a bit of the wind and rain here in Halifax, but nothing like what was felt in NYC or even in southwestern Nova Scotia.

My heart also goes out to those who were on the tall ship HMS Bounty when it sank off the coast of North Carolina from Sandy’s ferocious winds and rough seas. I hope you all get home safe and I hope they find the last crew member. To the family of Claudene Christian, despite the fact that you’ll probably never see this, I’m deeply sorry for your loss.

-Alex H.