(22/03/2013) Bravery

Brave is the one
Who stands on the line
And fights for the family
That they left behind.
Brave is the one
Who stands on high
And faces the world
With truth and lie.
Brave is the one
Who risks his life
To banish the darkness
That comes with the night.
Bravest of all is the one
Who can stand up to his fears
Who can drive through the darkness
Where nothing is clear.
Into the endless wonders
That every life doth’ hold
Despite treacherous mountains
And thundering cold.
©2013 Alex Hicks
My psychologist told me that it took incredible bravery for me to open up the one friend I felt I could open up to. I had never thought about bravery in that way before, and already right off the bat I feel better about myself. I have a good feeling about this.


So I’ve been feeling incredibly depressed recently for various reasons that I won’t get into. I’m feeling a little bit better today, but my lack-of self esteem is still ever-present. I’m going to see a psychologist in about a week to talk about it.

My previous three poems were rather dark, covering what I carry, what I leave, and what I return with. But today marks the beginning of my journey of self-improvement. I’ve started this journey alone before but hopefully, with medical help, and what couple close friends I have left, I’ll be able to succeed this time…

Hopefully. (Oh look! a hint of positivity!)

Anyway, I made the three poem series into images. I personally really like the images. Let me know what you think.

White Rose

Red Rose

Black Rose

-Alex H.

The Light Shines Through; Thoughts #7

Okay so I’ve been doing a lot of reading, psychology specifically, about introversion and how to deal with worry, stress, and depression. I think I have discovered a method to work on my issues.

I want to help people. I realize now that I cannot help others if I ignore my own problems.

I’m going to start keeping a journal. An e-journal. I’ll keep it on my computer at home and it should help me keep my thoughts straight in my head. How long will I have this journal? How often will I write in it? I don’t know. I probably won’t write in it every day, but I will write in it whenever I had a day where I had a depressing or anxious thought. That may end up being every day for a little while, but hopefully I’ll sort myself out before too long.

I also now realize that because of the state my mind is in, I am not ready for another relationship. I need to get myself straightened out first before I can have a successful relationship.

Currently, I feel lonely all the time. Even when I’m with my friends. Until I can be content when I am alone, until I learn to stop distancing myself from others, until I am able to tear down the walls that I’ve been building around myself for the past 4 years, I cannot be in a long term relationship. It would only bring more pain into the relationship and I don’t want that again.

Life is too short to spend it dwelling on past mistakes. Reflect on the past, don’t live in it.

Just my two cents.