Changes Are Coming

Changes are coming ladies and gentlemen.

I’ve decided that I’m going to try and publish some of my writing. So I’ve created profiles on various platforms to spread my work around. You can see all of these links on the sidebar.

The buttons were all made by a very generous and helpful friend of mine who wishes to be called MSS.

You’ll notice a soundcloud link in there. Yep, that means what you think it means. I’ve started recording some of my work. The first one I recorded was It Will Not Scar My Heart. Since then I’ve also found some music that I can use as backgrounds in future recordings, and I’ve learned how to improve the quality of my recordings. You can look forward to many more of those as well.

I’ve also updated my creative commons license for reasons that will be revealed in time. The image for that was also created by MSS.

On that note, know that I have been writing more. I have a lot of half-done pieces that will hopefully be finished and posted soon. As always, I welcome any and all criticism on any of my work, I don’t make a habit of denying any comments (aside from spam that is).

So please, leave me any comments on any of my work. I welcome them all. And and look forward to more posts in the near future. I’ll see you all soon.

Alexander J. Hicks

A Little More About Me. And Why I’m Angry.

No, I’m not angry with my readers. I’m angry with my family, and with some of my local friends. And here’s why:

Recently I posted something explaining that someone important in my life had been arrested and is being charged with something that I find to be the most despicable of crimes.

Now, my readers may not know this, but I find children to be the most beautiful thing in this world. They are the essence of innocence and deserve as much respect and protection as our elders do, if not more. They are the future and when we are dead and gone, they will run the world and they deserve to be treated as such. Not to be spoiled, but to be taught respect and discipline.

Anyway, the person who I refer to is my father. The crime he’s being charged with? Possession of child pornography. If what the police are saying is true, he has soiled the most innocent and protected thing on the planet, and that is disgraceful. He insists that he is innocent (of course he does, who would admit guilt?) But I have my doubts. Some things about him have come to light about him since the arrest and as it stands now, whether or not he’s innocent or guilty, it is doubtful that he will ever regain my trust.

As for some of my friends, I’m angry with them for a couple reasons. There are 2 people I talked to for advice on the situation who suggested that I turn to god. It made me ask myself a question:

1. Would my reaction be any different if I was not an atheist? If I believed in one or more gods?

And the answers to me are fairly simple. 1. No, my reaction would be no different. The man I have been closest with my whole life has betrayed my trust in the worst possible way. Neither gods nor men could change that. I’ve been told to have faith in my father (my birth father…not a pastor) but faith doesn’t win wars, soldiers do.

The world is a dark place, and right now times appear to be the darkest. I remind myself every day that the lights are brightest when seen from the dark, but always further away. I am trying my best to stay one step ahead of the dark, but it is not an easy thing to do.

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On a brighter note, I’ve got another update planned for later today to talk about poems and writing, and the possibility of getting myself published. So if you have any suggestions for my top works, let me know.

Thanks

Alex Hicks

Anger and Betrayal (“Outside” by Hollywood Undead)

So some bad stuff happened today in my family, not a death; no, someone was arrested and charged with something that I believe is one of the most intolerable offences. Someone, might I add, who I’ve always been quite close to. I won’t tell you exactly exactly what it was, but it left my brain confused. I didn’t know whether to be angry, scared, or sad; or any combination of the three. After writing a letter to my family that neither they or the world will ever see, I’ve decided that anger is right at this moment. Anger is the right feeling for now. How this healing process progresses will determine how I feel in the future, but anger is right as of this moment. Anger and disappointment. He’s betrayed my trust, and he will never get it back. He knows who he is, and he will never see this, but he also knows that he’s forever broken my trust.
 
Anger
 
Anger feels so right right now. So right.
 

Extra Life – Childrens Miracle Network Hospitals Fundraiser

Hi everybody! I realize I haven’t posted anything in a week, but I’m working on something special with very good friend of mine which will be up whenever it’s done.

I really wanted to make a post to tell you about a fundraiser I’m taking part in on November 2nd this year. It’s called Extra Life. Basically how it works is that individuals or teams accept donations for with a combined goal of $500 which all gets donated to our local Children’s Miracle Network Hospital. Then, on November 2nd, we sit down at one persons house and we play video games for 25-Hours straight. It sounds like it’s all fun and games but playing video games for 25-hours is a difficult thing to do.

All donations go directly to the hospital, it never even touches our hands, and it counts towards our totals. I’m not asking you to donate, I’m informing you of a fundraiser I am taking part in. It is up to you if you want to donate.

So, if you feel like donating to help sick kids get better, you can either support me individually, or you can support my team, or you can support a different team. Up to you. We’re just trying to have some fun, and make sick kids healthy while doing it.

To support me, simply click the donate now button at the top of the Extra Life webpage and search my name “Alex Hicks”.

To support my team, click the donate now button and search “Insert Coin to Continue”.

Even if you don’t donate
Even if you think about it
Then I’ve done my part.

June 10th, 2013: I Want it All (Update!)

 
Hi everybody! First, let me say, WOW!. 282 Followers. More than I thought I’d ever have.
 
Of course, 50 was more than I thought I’d ever have.
 
Thank you to everyone who follows me and comments and reblogs and shares my work around the interwebs. It means so much to me that people want to read what I write. I could not thank you all enough 🙂
 
Last week, Time became the most liked poem I’ve posted at 49 likes as of 10/06/2013 at 7:45am ADT. Thanks so much guys and gals!
 
On to the update!
 
Some big changes are ahead for me in the coming months. Not so much on this blog, aside from hoping to be able to write more, but in real life.
 
I’ve been going to a psychologist for the past few months and after our very last session on friday, I came to the sudden realization that if I want to do what I dream of doing in my life, I need to get off my ass and start doing something and not just talk about it; so I’m doing something about it.
 
In a couple days I’m going to get my beginners drivers license and book my road test. I’m looking for a One-Bedroom or Bachelor Apartment not far from work as to give me quite a bit more free time, as well as looking into some dating websites because I think I’m finally ready to be in a relationship again. I’ve also been looking at getting a new car; but that all hinges on me getting my license. I’ve already failed the road test once so I should be able to ace it this time right?
 
Anyway, that’s it for this update, I’ll post a couple poems in a bit, and I’ll give you guys another update next monday!
 
Thanks!
-Alex H.

An Update!

So, I took a week off from everything last week (except work). In order to organize and play with my thoughts. Sorry I didn’t tell you

But the good news is, I’m back. With renewed inspiration and motivation, with insight, patience and dedication. Or at least I hope so lol.

My psychologist has me keeping a worry journal, to help me track the sources of my worry and deal with my anxiety. It isn’t something that I’m likely to post here, but it is helping me deal with my worry a lot.

I would also like to point out how important having friends is to me right now and should have been my entire life. My whole life I thought people only wanted to be my friends because I was useful to them or because I had something they wanted. I realize now, that I was wrong. My friends are my friends because of the personality traits that I possess that we share, or that they find attractive in me; the same reason that I desire to be friends with them. Friends who are only friends with you because they want something from you are not very good friends at all. I should have realized this a long time ago and it is probably the reason why I have lost so many friends throughout my life.

So, while I am incredibly grateful to all 245 of my followers for being there for me and reading my work and making this blog what it is today; there are two people who I feel deserve special mention. These three people who have hard times of their own, yet still find a way to cheer me up through writing duets, and even just writing daily reflections for me to read that make me think, are easily the closest friends I have ever made through the means of the internet. They are Hastywords, Jen at Think.Speak.Tryst. and Shruti at A Shade of Pen.Thank you to everyone, but a very special thanks goes to these people for being incredible people in my life.

Thank you
-Alex H.

200 Followers!

 

Hurray! I hit 200 followers!
I’ll keep this brief because I know no one wants to read a wall of text.
I started this blog back in august as a way to show my poetry to my friends. In practically no time at all, people who I’d never met started reading my blog.
Over the past several months I picked up writing again, and gained an audience of over 200 followers on wordpress alone!

I’ve even made new friends through wordpress!
I have to thank all of you for following, reading, and providing feedback on my writing. Without all of you I probably wouldn’t be writing still today.
Thank you to everyone, and here’s to many more!

April 10th, 2013: Typewriter!

So, I’m terrible with money. In fact, just today I got the overwhelming desire to buy a typewriter. So I am. I found a local person selling a typewriter his grandmother used. So I sent off and email, and if I get a response soon enough I may have a typewriter to write my poems with as soon as this weekend!

I want a typewriter because the text it produces is unique for every typewriter. I really love the font styling and how the ink spreads a bit on some letters.

Into Dawn

A Name Change and a new Layout!

 
When I started this blog, I was going through some pretty heavy anxiety issues. (I still am.) I suffer from major social anxiety, in that, if it requires a face-to-face conversation I get anxious to the point of losing my appetite and sometimes even feeling sick.
 
Things were rough there for a while, but now I’m seeing a Psychologist who is helping me deal with my anxiety problems, so things are looking better. Which is why I decided to change the name of my blog!
 

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From the darkness
We were born
Our hearts to bear
the scars we’ve worn.
 
But in dark times
One can be sure
To trust in those
With hearts so pure
 
So as to never
Accept defeat
To stand and fight
Never retreat
 
I stand with the sun
As we wake the lark
But where does one go
Upon leaving the dark?
 
©2013 Alex Hicks

Update: Monday April 8th, 2013

Hi everyone! It’s time for an update!
 
Work has started to pick up now, and I’m trying to get out of the house more to help myself deal with social anxiety as per my therapists suggestions. For that reason, last week I decided to cut back on writing from every single day to a few times a week.
 
The new format of my blog will be revealed at some point this week, if not later today! I’m working on the new banner now in GIMP, then I have to write the CSS for colors of text etc.
 
I’m still writing weekly articles for Our Humble Opinions, so be sure to check them out.
 
Okay, that’s it for this update I think…back to CSS for me!
 
-Alex H.