It Will Not Scar My Heart


 
Where does the sunshine end and the dark of night begin?
When does the joy inside oneself give way to the dark within?
Where does the path of love give leave and the world falls away?
Where sunshine ends and night begins to engulf the light of day.
 
I dance the only dance I know, the one that stems the pain;
and step by step I move and sway, and hope it stops the rain.
But at every move and every turn the thunder sounds a drum
and reminds me of the life I live and that I cannot run.
 
Once upon a time I stepped to a rhythm of my own.
To a harmony and melody that I one time had grown;
and to that beat I danced and danced and quelled the little fears
that grew and grew and danced with me and with them grew my tears.
 
Until one day it hit me like the calm before the storm,
that on my mind the little fears had beaten, grabbed and torn.
Until the thoughts to which I stepped had began to bleed
and the little thoughts – anxieties – on them began to feed
 
My dance began to lose its fire, it’s passion, warmth, and zeal;
And the fears that ripped ferociously, began to feel so real
No longer could I dance and sway, to hide all that I felt,
with all my calm collected thoughts, my walls began to melt.
 
The rain it burned like acid and the thunder shook my core,
and although I tried to carry on, I knew that I could dance no more.
Beneath the weight of my own thoughts, I dropped down to my knees
and let the tears fall from my eyes as the ground began to freeze.
 
But just when I had given up, I saw a glimmer through the haze
A little spark, a light of hope, from my knees I began to raise
and the more I looked upon the light, the bigger it would grow
but the more I moved towards it, the further it would go.
 
When I stopped it did the same, but brighter still it grew
as it did I felt more and more that I would make it through.
Slowly I began to dance, to step and sway once more
despite the wind and driving rain, I’d never felt like this before.
 
Now I know that although strong, there is more here than the rain,
and as the light grows brighter I know that I can do the same
Although the storm has raged so long and left parts of me scarred
No matter how much it may try, it will not scar my heart.
 
©2015 Alex Hicks

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