Sometimes tears say all there is to say
Stories of the ones who faded away
The greats, the quiet, the secluded, alone
The fondness for them that we’ve grown
Sometimes the end is all that we can see
And sometimes it’s not as bright as it could be
But we push on because it’s all we know
No matter how bleak, to the darkness we go
Sometimes all we hear is the sound of defeat
Wherever we go, whoever we may meet
It rings and we ignore it, push it back in our mind
But always it is there, always it’s inside
Sometimes we just want to quit
Life’s too hard, the grind, the grit
But someone’s there to hold you up
To hold your hand, someone to trust
But sometimes, there’s no one there
At rock bottom, alone in stale air
When you hit rock bottom, you learn fast
That just when you land, rock bottom hits back.
Sometimes…I just want to let the darkness win.
©2014 Alexander Hicks
Originally posted on hastywords:
Earlier today one of the Sisterwives, Laurie Works, posted a spoken word poem that rocked me to the core. It wasn’t as much what she has gone through, or the words to her poem, but the raw emotion that conveyed the pain of EVERYTHING that brought her to these words she spoke. I wrote this poem shortly after seeing it but held off posting until I could put it to video in honor of her bravery. Please visit the SisterWives post here and give her some love!
I was dead
For a brief
Words would fall
Like shooting stars
And land before me
On wet ground
Would cover them
And I didn’t notice
I didn’t care
And I watched
As it rained
Tiny sharp daggers
Dotting my skin
View original 88 more words
I push and I push and I push
You push everyone away.
I push away the people I love.
But not her.
you’re so afraid
That she’ll leave me.
Just like the rest did.
Yet, she promises she won’t.
So why do you keep pushing?
She hates seeing me like this.
You hate yourself like this.
She tells me that she loves me
But you don’t love yourself.
She says she wants to be with me
But you don’t want to be with yourself.
And more than anything I want to be with her.
Then you know what you must do.
I can’t fight it alone anymore.
You never really had to.
Anxiety has taken so much from me
Then don’t let it take any more.
I’m going to make one final stand
You won’t be standing alone.
I won’t let this win.
WE won’t let this win.
This battle may be done
You’ve lost a lot of ground.
But the war is far from over
We’ll stand behind you always.
I fight so I can be with her
We fight so you can be with you.
I fight so I can be with me.
We fight to keep your sanity.
She’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me
you really love her don’t you?
Yes, she is my everything.
Then we fight so you will not lose her.
We fight so I will not lose her.
We fight and we will win.
We will win.
©2014 Alexander J Hicks
Looking up from where I’ve fallen
I hear their voices softly calling
Reaching pulling holding fast
Encouraging my strength to last
But for them I am not reaching back
I’ve let my vision fade to black
Let night embrace me, feels so real
Hide the light, let darkness heal.
Shattered glass in a picture frame
But the pieces are all still there
In the frame.
And I keep lying to myself saying I’m not depressed
That I’m not anxious or lonely
“Happiness comes to those who wait.”
What bullshit. I’ve worked for happiness
I’ve worked to make my life okay
To make myself okay
But it never works
My heart beats to the sound
of a broken drum
It’s sound so lifeless
So quiet, so broken
But every single day I manage to hide it
Every single day I manage to lie
And I hate myself for it
But I can’t show weakness anymore
Because the world is a dangerous place
And to show weakness is to admit defeat
But what if, just what if,
What if Weakness is all I have left to show?
©2014 Alex Hicks
You know, these masks I wear, the ones I hide behind,
They’re fragile. People keep breaking them and I keep getting hurt
But isn’t that exactly what the mask is supposed to stop?
Isn’t it supposed to protect me?
I guess I just don’t know anymore.
It’s hard to pretend that everything is okay
When everything hurts
It’s hard to face the truth
When you’ve been lying for so long.
And it hurts.
I can’t cry anymore, I’ve cried too much
Too many tears have seen the light of day
And the light of day has seen too many of my tears
But I reach for people all the time
Because this loneliness is deadly
This loneliness is life altering
Shattering the way I think
And it hurts.
It hurts so much…and I don’t know how to stop it.
©2014 Alex Hicks
I wrote an etheree! well, a double-etheree. Easily one of my favourite forms of poetry. Read about it here. Because sometimes, you need to work to get a starting point, then work more to make it worth your time.
than you have
dug until now.
Bury yourself in
the weight of words of those
who have been where you are now
because you will someday be free
of the things that keep you trapped down here.
Spring forth into the unknown, a victor.
If you can see the sky, it is in reach,
so dig deeper than you have before
and find yourself some solid ground;
a starting point, a baseline.
And with your force of will,
jump high as you can
and see the world
from the height
©2014 Alex Hicks